I don’t know if you believe in angels. But I do.
Recently, after researching more about the science of numerology, I came across this 28 days to prosperity. It consisted of 28 days of emails, each including a message from an Archangel.
Have you ever just had a feeling about something or someone, unexplainable but so bone shockingly raw of an impulse or event in your life that you couldn’t hold back draw dropping action? Angels baby, divine intervention at it’s finest.
I just so happened upon this Archangel journey during the time I was working on another program called the big shift, my 40 day Sadhana I’ve spoken of here through the blog.
Being a living human being and adding new practices into my day, I quickly realized I could only handle so much. Nearly 30 days into my Sadhana, The Big Shift practices were already absorbing over an hour of my day. As tempted as I was to start my Archangel work, I knew I wanted to stay committed to my first self-study practice I had already began. So I let the Archangel emails come, day by day, filling my inbox. Little messages from the divine that I insisted could wait for me.
I should have known that Divine intervention would find me. Maybe that’s why the last two weeks of my 40 day program felt heavy. I was stretching myself too thin already trying to absorb, reflect, and let go in such an immense manner. I believe this heaviness must have been why, within my last week of my Sadhana — I surrendered and finally started asking my Archangels for guidance.
Let me back up a second to say, I definitely was interested in exploring and playing with the Archangels. Knowing one ending was coming I was trying to set myself up for success, end one program, start right into the other — “this will be a piece of cake!” or so I thought..
As it turns out, endings have a lot more weight to them than beginnings. Though this may seem like common sense, one of my favorite phrases always reminds me “common sense is not common”. I smack myself in the face with this reality daily even I forget common sense some times. I'm only human. (Or so I thought)
So here I was grooving along in my Big Shift 40 day course, crawling though my last ten days. Something inside me drew me to my email inbox. I scrolled through the many emails until finally I found it - Day 1 Calling on your abundance angels. The title alone filled my heart with love and joy. Internally, just the call to action seemed to miraculously open me up to inviting more space in. How could I resist? The little audio file popped up, I journeyed on.
Little did I know, in that very moment — this invited a surrender to my higher self and the beginning of understanding the flow of letting Divine take the lead. As if a burden was lifted, life finally began to flow again. I faced less resistance, accepted less doubt and fear that what I was feeling and experiencing wasn’t real. At work I started doing the little things, the mundane tasks that no one ever wanted to stop to work on. Or perhaps the tasks many felt they were above, I was taking complete joy in. As miraculously as Moses parting the sea, facing my responsibilities in life came without question, complaint, or concern of the outcome.
About a week later, I met with a friend (let’s call her Carrie) for a quick breakfast at my favorite place in my neighborhood. She hadn’t ever been there before, and it brought me so much joy to be the one to experience it with her. She had an early start, so I agreed to get moving in the day and meet her there at opening. Although we knew we couldn’t meet for long, we cherished and lavishly enjoyed the time we had.
Through the quick hour we had together, we enjoyed coffee, mouth watering deliciousness, and philosophical banter. It feels funny to me, deeming myself a philosopher as I study more and more about this life and our human experience. But I really feel it is the best title, because sometimes we go deep. Plus it’s also a really fun lighthearted one; because I feel it best describes my mission. To see this life for all its blessings first glance rather than second. Since I see that what I focus on expands, as I practice Svadyaya (self - study); inwardly I practice letting the Divine take the lead through any way I can express it.
Now, I talk this Divine intervention. But in the light of awareness uncovering limiting habits and beliefs in my Sadhana, I was feeling very overwhelmed and a tad lost. On this day at breakfast with Carrie, it happened to be day 40. On a whim, I opened up to Carrie about my struggle with my faith. In how I was raised Catholic, but have sort of let the sea water cave in.
Like that moment in Pirates of the Caribbean, when the curse is finally broken, but then they all realize they’re standing on the ocean floor. These enormous walls of water rapidly beginning to cave in. The spaniards all begin to see they have the gift of life again — and everyone starts running chaos commences. Dark and light intertwine and the purpose of live becomes survival. Yet for the few there is light, there is a new awakend look at life. In the end, they'll meet again so the characters choose to thrive and move on with life. Epanding in their own light. Letting go of what is gone.
Being totally transparent here, I’ve always felt a connection to the Divine, even in times when others around me refused to talk about it. I attended college in San Francisco, and for some mind baffling reason unbeknownst to me; the go to phrase from people around me was “Don’t talk to me about God.” Darkness settled in, confusing my heart and leading my soul astray into the deep blue. Walls of water. Caving in. Oh shit. A young, gullible and unaligned 18 year old me accepted their beliefs and thoughts as my own and turned them into some seriously dramatic limiting beliefs that continued to block my path back to letting the Divine take the lead.
On this 40th day at breakfast, my mind was engulfed in fear. All it seemed to be doing was expanding — Walls of water, oh shit. Looking back I can see, the years I’ve spent holding on to the limiting belief that I am not worthy of having my own relationship with the Divine spun me in loops and loops of fear. I’d often noticed, but those stupid limiting beliefs I adopted were still standing in my way. The tagline of the current month from friends and my inner voice is “What happens next?” Seeing this all now under a new light from the Divine, It was as if I wasn't listening to a part of my own voice. I defintitely had my own Dolores momet this week. When I came to breakfast that morning, my whole inner being was shouting “Dear God, Help Me! How can it get any better than this?”
On that day at breakfast, something inside me finally shifted. In choosing to be open about life and faith, Carrie immediately recommended and pulled out this book she was reading. At the time, I only remembered the funny looking cover. This statue like image of a woman with her arms up in the air, with lavish features and additions to her look. She wore jewelry ranging from bangles, earrings as big as half her face, flowers woven into a decadent headpiece —all the while winking at me and throwing in a tilt up of a smile. She was clearly something special.
Carrie spoke of the author, how she was this polyamorous Jewish raised Jesus loving empathetic yogi, philosopher, miracle believer, true Angel walking on earth; and someone unafraid of believing that we live in a living, moving, loving and forceful universe. The back of the cover reads: What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually is a Supreme Organizing Principle with an unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who’s writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?” What if?
In need of a good book, I committed to choosing to offer my heart up to listen.
A week later, Carrie came to take my earliest morning yoga class. The night before she texted me saying she would be there. “Do you want me to bring Outrageous Openness?”, she asked. I racked my brain for understanding. “Are you talking about a viewpoint or a perspective?”, I shot back. We both shared a GREAT laugh when she wrote back that Outrageous Openness was the title to the book with the Deity and her headpiece on it.
I can say for sure, my angels lead me to this book.
Only a week later, as I was heading out to California for a weekend trip home. Did I begin this sweet journey into Outrageous Openness and leading myself back on the path of letting the Divine take the lead.
Thanks for staying with me today, I promised something meaningful last night on instagram! Okay so remember those Archangel audios in my email inbox? During this time, I had began allowing myself to find my own path on when to listen to them. If I’m being totally honest, my big shift program was super dope. But I felt restricted following a daily plan that seemed to only lead to a sharp end and a focus flooded with fear once it was over. In my life this limit only created more fear — Walls of water. Caving in. Oh shit.
So I gave myself permission to open each of the emails one by one; only when I really felt called or drawn to start on a new one. As if I was offering up this whole practice of playing with my Archangels in my daily life more as gaining four new best friends rather than inviting in alien energetic forms that my heart felt jibbed it couldn’t see.
As time has pressed on, I’ve still only progressed as far as day 11. Knowing the power of 1, through now dipping my toes into the science of numerology; I know my path is just. I can take as much time as I want calling on each Angel. So far I’ve only come to know two of them intimately. Yet I call out all for all four when I am my weakest. And that is where I live outrageously, open.
Back in college, in my dark years, where my childhood awareness of God was locked within the doors of my mind I refused to open. I had a wildly drunken night with a few friends. My boyfriend, same man I am still with to this day, had a rough drunken, sloppy, angry mess to take care of that night. I refused to listen for help.
At one point when we were driving around the streets of San Francisco — I think he was picking us up from the bar? so the sweet man was sober AF, I screamed at him to pull over. Wise man agreed and while pulling over, I bolted out of the car. He did the same and ran after me; did his best to calm me down. I agreed to return to the car; tongue not in cheek. He graciously and angelically drove us all home and did the work to get a close to blackout me out of the car, up two flights of stairs, and into my bedroom in my apartment. I radically, and a touch aggressively, still refused assistance.
Everything gets hazy after that. Any number of reasons compelled me out the door of my apartment; while maybe he was in the bathroom? Again, things were rapidly going dark at this point. Only through Divine intervention did I not get very far. Outside on the grass around the corner from my place, I fell to the ground. Weeping, broken, and oddly gasping for air — suddenly a man named Michael appeared. The conversation was hazy, but even in that moment I could feel — this Michael was special.
Having lost my Uncle Michael at the early age of three; a drunken me quickly slowed my tears and felt at peace by this Michaels presence. Perhaps a few Angels were chimming in but it was dark, and I was close to black out level drunk. The battle against the dark was still alive and well. Walls of water. C aving in. Ohhh shiiiiit.
He stayed with me at least until my breathing steadied. I realize this sounds outrageous. Seeing the theme here? But on that day, Archangel Michael saved me. His appearance on that night was so clearly a light of protection. I could have easily run out into the street and gotten hit by a car or worse, instead here I was on the grass being soothed by this being I’d never met before. Moments later, as if with a blink of an eye — Michael was gone. Miraculously my breathing had slowed. As quickly as Michael entered, he was gone again. My boyfriend rounded the corner, reassuring me there was no one in sight when he found me. He brought my broken, still lost soul back inside.
Years have passed; with that moment locked in my darker years, this memory faded easily from my awareness. It wasn’t until I encountered another Archangel this week that thoughts and memories of Archangel Michael’s visit in my world came back to me.
This last Friday was a complete dream. I stared off going with the flow of my day, whatever hour I woke up I accepted the motivation. As the light switches of my mind turned on I went about my day choosing to be lead by Divine intervention.
Breakfast reunion with a wonderful friend that lead to serious philosophical thought chains. (A delightful story for another day.) Then off to my massage at noon.
While driving to total relaxation heaven I turned on my abundance angels recording for the day. Just casually catching how Archangel Gabriel can appear through routes of divine intervention. Archangel Gabriel, wants you to express yourself with confidence: to trust whatever comes to you. Fun fact, Gabriel can arrive either masculine or feminine.
My day presses on. My dad and I go out for lunch. Our waiter walks up, my eyes raise to meet his name tag. I almost can’t even think. I definitely blink more than twice. Drop my mouth open. Hopefully not too far?
Gabriel, it reads. Words cannot express in thorough detail yet. Once again, Divine intervention dropped a bread crumb and that expanded calm light of peace flooded my soul.
K. E. G.
P.S. Final thoughts I swear!
Right before point this blogpost tonight I chose to give my words up to Gabriel. Especially now after catching a wave of grace at that lunch. Phew, if that didn’t crack me open and guide me straight on my path forever. Well, I’m sure they’ll find another way to connect with me and just be.
After listening to Day 11 meditating with Gabriel: Trust whatever comes to you. My inner conscious beamed out this train of thought, so I pass it on to you:
What if you can be in this expansive bright beautiful place all the time? Can you be more in allowance of who you are spiritually and physically, at the same time?
So my dears, or all those moments you hold yourself back, say a little prayer and send it all up. Forgive yourself for worrying and let things go. Be in allowance of letting yourself adapt and stay expanded.
Outrageous Openness author Tosha Silver writes:
“People often act as if there’s no Divine assistance. Why not pretend there is? . . . You can always go back to your dog eat dog world”.
What a beautiful, expanded, juicy thought.