I realize this might be a funny or rhetorical question for some of us. In some months I feel I'm cooking 3 times a day easy (when lucky) for weeks at a time. Other times, I'm lucky if the inspiration to cook is even there. I realized tonight that even though I'm in a season of cooking nearly every night or every two nights then leftovers the thrd; truthfully I'm just in a place where my finances can't take me doing anything else. I had the unfortunate realization tonight though (as well as last night and a few weeks a go with repeat favorite recipes right now; If I'm being honest), that I haven't been reading all of the directions. I felt so silly when my man was complaining about the dish tonight when I looking back to see I was wrong. Uhg. But I really shouldn't take the being wrong to heart. I'm not a total pro, and hey i'm human - I totally make mistakes! Some nights when I know I have to cook though I just really do not want to. Ya'll my mood is so NOT ready for it. And yet I know duty and debt calls. I just wish I could find a better balance with cooking in my weeks.
The whole experience tonight helped me reflect on how sometimes when we add a habit or chore into our life, we say we're going to do it, but when reality rolls around - it doesn't happen. Things just don't start to always go our way. It takes serious attention and focus on a goal, a task, a dream, and crazy mindchanging focus - to accomplish it. There are a few books I'm slowly reading right now that are helping me keep the fire for positive brain re-wireing. Somtimes I feel I just really need to hear someone elses advice than my own ot figure out where I stand on something or what I'm feeling. Journaling from the thoughts these books create hsa been inspiring and life rerouting. They are the following:
- Be Obsessed or Be Average -- a reccomendation from a business partner and a no joke read. Things move hard and fast in this book. It's defintely a pick up and put down kind of read for me.
- Meditations From The Mat -- a constant and solid read for a yogi who wants a daily reading for their practice. 365 entries, for a full year of focused growth
- The Universe Has Your Back -- a yogi reccommendational read and heavy on the journaling and meditation
- The Slight Edge -- a side read from my acting workshops I've been working on. I'm feeling a little resistance on the start of the read. but I did just find the hook. Iset it down this afternoon after only just finding it, but I look forward to getting back to the pages. ( I think I'm just craving a romantic read -- time to pull out a Nora Roberts from the shelf) This book though, is my most recent acquired finding so it has space and time to reel me in deeper
- Practice You: a journal -- this is a free sprite, creative and open ended thought driven guided meditation journal. It has some pretty phenomenal chapters. Recently, I worked on some stuff in the " i trust " chapter. It holds space for an aebb and flow of picking upn and putting down
Whoo. It seems a little scary sometimes to just be open endedly pouring my heart out into a screen every friday night. But that's sort of the rhythm that's begun. I hope to change this in the future and start in the morning, maybe go out to a cafe for breakfast or simply for coffee. Be productive out of my apartment and get shit done. Some day shortly, I can see this as my reality. Yet right now, Friday mornings the exhaustion just hits so hard, and I'd rather nap and rest away from the responsiblities the day calls for. But I swear I'm committed, because commitment means all in. And any option missed on my path is really no longer an option. So I can't look back.
I've always been a talkitive bee, but i've never sourced the frenetic energetic energy I carry around. I forget many of my skills in other areas of my life when I drown myself in my day job work tasks. Even just this last week I was thinking.. wow can I even remember what it feels like to be acting in a production on stage. Something I haven't done since graduation coming up almost three years ago. Last October I booked a film that had me working part time for a month against my yoga studio job. But since then I haven't allowed much space for acting growth. I have been lucky to be digging into online workshops, but nothing in the present moment reality such as a flood of auditions or bookings. Staying yoga focused is all i've given myself the energy to do.
Which is pretty much what I've been doing since October. I really just turned my sails in a direction I thought I needed and wanted in order to feel fufilled, and what I found on the other side of seven months later.. What I found was undeniable risen self doubt that is uneccessary and not really a part of my true Sankalpa. I've found myself this past month always tense and undesiring feedback in ways I fully dove into it before. Even my practice has stalled.
Now, simply writing things down has been the only way I can absorb the information. A way of brushing things off more like oil. yet giving myself the oppertunity to come back to it later for self refelction and understanding. My mother did always say to me growing up be a duck, aka let things go with ease honey rather than hang on tighter. I really enjoy teaching yoga. This job is just a balance of crazy things that i've found my soul is just not into anymore. It doesn't speak to me on the level it did and I am feeling the burn out. There are things we were put on this earth to do and there are things we were not. Acting is one of those gifts for me. Teaching yoga brings me joy mosts days. Writing is a soothing, gift i've been given. Ever since I was young writing has inspired and calmed me but intimidated me. I often forget - I can do hard things. And i want to get back to the hard things I studied to get really good at.
When I'm writing here for you all,,,
There is this stronger spice of fufillment in my mind. I am challenged and prepared to accept the responsibliities that come in time. There is a sense of clarity that falls in the time after a post. I'm now commited to a practice of asteya (non stealing) and self love in order to be re-routed back to my sankalpa. My thougths are begining to hover a little more often. I have created clearer cues while teaching. I'm thinking much more before I speak in many situations. I often say I feel like I was in a deep sleep for a part of my life. And for the past year things have been turning and transitioning, I've woken up again. I remembered what I was put on this earth to accomplish.
This weekend, oh I'm so grateful, this weekend I'm starting a new coaching program. Well I started one last night, a new acting workshop, though it is live and I was working at the studio so I will have to get back to it once it is uploaded in a few days. But on Sunday I'm starting a personal soul shifting course for 40 days. It's going to be so badass and I am just really intrigued by the expereince to have a life coach. I've recently finished another book called You Are A Badass, by Jen Sincero, that reccommended coaching for people turly committed to change in their life. So this Sunday my journey begins!
As a Company last year Yogi Inspired Inc. learned a lot, and this year we look forward with our head high and our gaze out past the horizon. I personally feel stoked for my 40 days of shift and change journey I'm about to embark on. I look forward to sharing my journey with you all here. Maybe even a little more often than once a week. It might not be as long of a read. Just more fun and community connection focused for us all.
In the last month since being able to start this blog on the site, I've been having ricochets of realizations in my personal life. As well as great focus and breakthroughs for this company. I'm looking forward to highlighting strong products that I've even used myself soon. As well as making things really clear in the product section. I have this fabulous marking team and site work crew that just help me work miracles. I can't wait to be a part of the ripple effect of change for goodness in your life from your finds within the store on this site. Be on the lookout for positive and narrow focused changes isolated to make your experience browsing our store even better in 2018.
Please feel free to reach out with any quesions or ideas for topics you want to hear disussed or broken down on the blog! Your presence makes a difference and your shares are a part of the yoga ripple effect. It's hard to escape it, kindness and community passion is only created and spread by those willing to be vulnerable with others. So here I am, saying I'm ready. I'm willing. If I could shout it out to the Universe I would!
I truly am tired of living a sub-average life. I say sub average as if my life was under a parent category of Average. Its truly wonderful. But there are parts where resistance and fear really hold me back. Old, out dated habits from a life of a childhood focused on fear and insecurity. It's taken me a long time to find my authentic self, and I feel that I fight for it every day. And here I go carving out more space for her in the world over the next 40+ days.
It's crazy to imagine that I have to fight something to be myself but I feel as though that's how the mind works (at least my mind). Self doubt and the invitation to give in to temptation are there every day. How do we overcome something that we can't even see is there? How do we choose to believe & have faith in the day that lies ahead and recommit to each day with more passion than the last -when maybe we're not even sure we want to be doing what we do anymore?
These are the questions that have started to flood my mind in the aftermath of these last few last months experiences. I sort of hit a wall of resistance. Each new door I faced was slammed in my face. it appeared as if there was no end in sight to the madness until one day I cracked at work. Suddenly I found myslef balling in the bakc office at the start of my day, balling in my office with my managers later, and just loosing it later that night throughout the next two weeks. I felt surroudned by darkness. I'm a very emotional being, but I also know how hold to hold it in and hold my tounge. I was raised by two very smart parents -- my parents taught me alot. But they showed me even more.
Through their actions, I created visions and habits that served me for a time. But as i've grown older they've held me back. I've been afraid to have my own voice or opinion since before I could remember. And It really seems to hold me back in my followthrough when it comes to applying action in my life. This year is about being unstoppable. In a season of total change for me, I'm staying in idle and focusing on personal gain rather than career gain. And holding out with patience that what is meant to be will come. Starting with self trust in order to create more external trust in others, God, spirits, and the Universe.
Moving forward, I hope this current 40 day shift program helps me find the time to slow down all over but especcially when I'm cooking as well. I ask the universe that patience leads me to deeper peace and a stronger ability to focus. My Lasik is feeling alright coming up on 10 months after surgery, but lots of computer time I think makes a real difference. We'll see, ideally I don't want ot go under the blade again but if my vision has changed since last year, i'm still young and I might have to consider it. Ahh life. So many recocurring maintenence things. But we really only have one body. So we should figure out how to make the time to slow down and cook for ourselves, fine tune our ability to master it and take care of it each day that will so quickly add up to a lifetime.
Maybe I can go back to doing it all with purpose and intention. Tonight I was able to make scallops with sauteed shallots & spinach with a side of roasted honey carrots. It was perfect for my Friday night Lent dinner. I've been struggling to keep up with these no meat Fridays as well as feed my boyfriend on the same nights who is allergic to a lot of seafood and trains really hard these nights. Thankfully theres some wiggle room. We both love sushi and spoil each other when available:)
Next time I want to make sure I read all the steps. Especially since next time is St. Patrick's day dinner! I'm so excited to be making a corned beef brisket with sliced avocado and feta on top, with a side of colecannon (an amazeballs Irish potato recipe) -- both options are solid heck as leftovers on their own. I'm also making apple pie, because well it's just itme for celebration. I might go out for some beer, but I am fighting a cold like no body's business and two days of no coffee already has been leaving crazy headaches. Every ounce of focus is worth it though, it takes serious amounts of effort and energy to commit to self love and self change. Same for believing and choosing in my self trust mission and to live more the wisdom by my Sankalpa. Even when I mixup the recipe for dinner, I can see the good in that I now have great leftovers to freeze for later that will taste blissful.
On another note, I am so excited to share a fun Business Fact: With each year at Tax season, we are committing to 10% of profits made donated to a charity of community choice. All sales made through this targeted March & April months of 2018 will be analyzed and evaluated for next years return. Though, the donation will be made within 2018. We'll create a survey link with choices and can decide as a tribe by the end of Summer! So check out the new categorie arragements on the site & please spread the word to friends -- so many products are great gift ideas or treat purchases for yourself! Essential Oils are set to be up on the site live soon, we are so excited to be connected with a Doterra Wellness Advocate.
Thank you for reading, thank you for pausing in your day, thank you even more for shopping and helping this company make a difference. Believe in yourself. That's the first step of the journey.
Your Now More Fearless and Committed Leader