Why do we ask ourselves to suffer?
I’ve recently had the pleasure, of finishing a 40 day Sadhana practice of daily yoga, readings, journaling, and meditation. While the inner shifts have already ricocheted outward and are rapidly shifting life; I am still in need of some down time to finish out some consistent journaling.
I have often been this way when it comes to journaling. I start something and then slow down my vigor has time passes as it seemed less and less vital. But what I’m finding by paying attention to my writing lately, is that I’m ready to stop living in my loops. Just this year, I found an old blog post I once wrote. This post was nearly identical to one I had just written. I was taken aback when reading almost the same thoughts transpired just over a few years ago.
At last it dawned on me, I wrote this years ago and then repeated the same patterns and ended up here.. why do we ask ourselves to suffer?
Closing my 40 day Sadhana practice brought on a lot of really strong shifts. I had many friends taking the leap of faith in their own way throughout this last week. It was truly liberating to get to hear some of them filled with so much joy in their choices for transition. I can only agree that the season is upon us for radical moments of self reflection. The season is upon us for soul awakening transformation. Yes. At last, the season is here for inevitable acceptance of self growth and change. “We either grow or we die, it’s that simple” - baron Baptiste
Sometimes I awake in the night in a heat of sweat. I’m advised this is hormones, but it feels different. I often toss and turn and then jolt awake. It feels more as though I am full of the universe in my heart but I get so expansive that I can’t relate and I feel overwhelmed, sweat, toss, turn, wake up. It’s an endless cycle I feel as though somehow I must be bringing on (it doesn’t happen nightly). Throughout the start of my life I’ve had moments where I gave in to prolonged sadness and sorrow, only to create more of the same in reflection in my outer world.
So again, I come back to - why do we ask ourselves to suffer? Do we think that real life isn’t as grim as GOT? Does WestWorld not motivate anybody? In every reality we give into insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results” and pretend we don’t care when life resists us since we think our journey is just. But what if our thoughts aren’t straight to begin with? What if half of what we think is only a molded idea of how others shape the world? If we never ask ourselves to question our own thoughts and conclusions, we are only going to lead ourselves to more suffering.
I had the luxury of working with this coach recently, who equally is committed to consistent soul growth. She desires to move beyond inspiration and ignite motivation within the human souls of who she works with. Her course changed my ability to check in with my soul’s inner wisdom. Trusting more in what everyone calls “my intuition” and doubting more others perceptions of me. We have one shot on this earth and then the next time round we won’t remember it. What are you doing to hear what your souls mission on this earth is now? Daily, are you making time away from the busy day just for you to see where your thoughts are and what your internal needs might be? Are you asking why you are here? If not, begin. Not all questions have to be answered, allow your subconscious mind to go to work when the questions seem to real. And even be daring enough to ask the Archangels to guide you. This world is bigger than you and me. It’s time you started believing in it; just to see where your path will lead.
For so long I allowed myself to suffer, to truly just chill within the pain place but not ask around as to why it was there. Recently when I was asked to dig deeper, I had to make the choice to find time to create a daily practice in my life. I held strong throughout all 40 days. But then come the weekend after I kept telling myself what now? And wasn’t listening to any of the practice I had just leaned on for the prior 40 days. I now remind myself, “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve going to have to do something you’ve never done.”
Fear is all around us. It is so easy to get engulfed by it and even allow it to cling to you. So how do you decide which fears are your own and which are that of others? The biggest realization you can have in this life is the decision to go against the status quo. Is to believe that your inner thoughts, emotions, experiences are valid and worthy of being discovered and investigated. Otherwise, how do you really know what you are doing here? What messages and paths are more meant for you? Wouldn’t it be fun if opportunities just flew into your life rather than you pushing along one’s you planned? What if they aren’t the best choice for your soul’s mission? How do you find time to listen?
Because if you’re not listening, you’re only indulging suffering more. You’re only allowing yourself to see one side. And the beauty of it all is, you were built to see both sides. You were built with the ability to see all sides, if you so choose. I know you are afraid to burn brightly, I too have let fear hold back my shine. But you were born for greatness, you were born from the divine. There is always light within you, and there will always be an inner heart and head battle. Which call will you respond to and can you find a way to respond to both in time?
We are the children of a new age, an age where if we believe deep enough - one soul can begin to change the world. It’s scary to dream of what’s next. As the inevitable question of an end will one day be near. So how do we let go of death? How do we overcome the inevitable fact of our own fate? Personally, I feel it’s a daily argument. Gracefully I wake up and work through my day, and lately I’ve come back to working until total exhaustion. It makes the day pass by sooner, and allows me to feel fulfilled.
But this week. It’s as if I’ve awaken from a deep slumber, finally free with the power again to choose. Will you allow yourself to continue to suffer? Caught within the loops of wishes from your inner world to reflect your outer. Or can you flip the switch, see it from a new perspective? Instead of spending all of your precious time in resistance; can you simply allow yourself to melt onto the band wagon of change? How long will you risk not letting go?